Bella Runs Over A Cat
by The Brown Eyed Writer
Summary: Funny one-shot of when Bella runs over Jacob's and Billy's cat! A girlish Billy and head banging! And fluff! EXB! R&R please! I promise it's funny!


"_No," I said in a voice that sounded strange to me. "I don't have plans to go back."_

"_Oh. You don't have to do that for me."_

"_I don't think I'm welcome anymore," I whispered._

"_Did you run over someone's cat?" he asked lightly._

_~Edward Cullen & Bella Swan, Eclipse pg. 191_

* * *

BPOV

I awoke from a very nice sleep. I had slept in the arms of my love, so of course I was going to get a good sleep. I rolled over on my other side and met with two topaz eyes.

"Good morning," I said, giggling in my happy mood.

"Someone's in a happy mood," my angel commented.

"Who wouldn't be when I slept in an angel's arms," I teased lightly. Edward chuckled.

"I think you're mistaken. It was an angel that slept in my arms," he said, kissing my nose. I giggled like a little school girl.

"Yeah, okay," I said, yawning and stretching.

"Well, I hate to be the one who ruins your happy mood, but Emmett and Jasper are dragging me out to go hunting today," Edward said.

Well, there went my happy mood, right out the window.

"Isn't there some way you could get out of it?" I whined.

"Sorry, love. They won't let me back out," he said. I sighed.

"Well, if that's the case, then have fun. Bag a few mountain lions for me," I said, moving his hair out of his face.

"I love you, Bella. I'll be back tonight, before you can even miss me," Edward said.

"I love you, too," I said, kissing him, a little longer than necessary.

"Mhmmm, maybe I can back out," Edward moaned.

"You are coming with us whether you like it or not, Edward Anthony!" Emmett yelled from somewhere in the Cullen house.

"Ugh!" Edward groaned.

"Stupid vampire brothers," I mumbled. Edward chuckled.

"We'll finish this later tonight," Edward said, nipping at my neck.

My heart thumped in excitement, which made Edward laugh. I blushed.

Ever since Edward had lowered his stupid boundaries, we've been going at it like rabbits. Emmett, of course, always picks on us for it. I swear, one day, when I'm a vampire, he'll regret it. Oh, boy will he regret it.

"Then what are you waiting for? Hurry and get back!" I said, pushing against his chest lightly.

He chuckled and jumped up to find his clothes. I sat up, and wrapped the sheet around my naked form. I let out a wolf whistle and Edward turned to smirk at me.

"Like something you see?" Edward teased.

"Something I'm fixing to jump," I said, licking my lips.

"Bella," Edward groaned. I giggled.

"How about a quickie, for the road," I said, raising an eyebrow in a seductive way.

"You're going to be the death of me, I swear," Edward said as I threw his stray shirt back on the ground where it was two seconds ago.

_15 minutes later_

So now, Edward was gone and I had a huge, empty Saturday. Charlie was at work, Esme was grocery shopping for me, Alice and Rosalie were shopping, and Edward was hunting with his brothers. So what was I to do now?

It was like a sign. One moment, I was still lying naked in the sheets, and next I was stumbling over the sheets to reach my phone.

"Hello?" I asked after flipping it open.

"Bella!" Jacob's chirpy voice said on the other end.

"Oh, hey, Jake," I said, smiling.

"Are you busy today? Is your bloodsucker keeping you to himself today?" he asked, a little excited.

"Um, no he's out hunting today. Jake, you okay? You sound a little excited. Did you drink too much coffee this morning?" I asked.

"No, can you come over? I have a surprise for you," he said.

"Um, okay. I'll be over in about….30 minutes," I said.

"Okay, Bells, see you later," Jake said, hanging up the phone.

I laughed at his excitement and went to Edward's closet to get some clothes I kept over here. I decided on some comfortable jeans and one of Edward's Chicago Cubs t-shirt. Who knew Edward was a baseball fan?

I ran down the stairs in the Cullen mansion, and grabbed a pop-tart on my way out. But stopped when I remembered that Edward had drove me here yesterday. So my truck wasn't here. Damn. Oh well, I could just drive Edward's car.

I went to the garage after grabbing Edward's keys. I went through the line of cars and got in Edward's car.

I drove down the road at a normal speed with Debussy playing in the background. It was a 15 minute drive, and when I pulled up to the small red house, Jacob was waiting for me with a small bundle of something in his arms.

I got out and walked over to him. The small bundle was a kitten. It had black and white fur and big yellow eyes.

"Jake?" I asked confused.

"Bella! We got a new kitten! Isn't he cute! His name is Mr. Puttyface," Jake said, honestly excited.

"Mr. Puttyface?" I asked, disbelieving. This is the source of his excitement? A cat?

"Yeah! Isn't he cute? I found the poor little guy walking on the beach, scared and wet," Jake said.

"So this is what you wanted to show me?" I asked, still disbelieving.

"Yeah!" Jake said. I looked down at the cat, who was looking up at me curiously.

"Well, he is kind of cute," I said, then thought of something. "Wait, how are you and Mr. Puttyface," I couldn't help but laugh at the name, "even getting along. I mean, he's a cat and you're a dog, well wolf, but same thing," I said. Jake rolled his eyes.

"I'm a wolf, Bella, not a dog," Jake said.

"Okay, Jake, sure," I said.

"That bloodsucker has been rubbing off on you. By the way, is that his car?" Jacob asked, looking over my shoulder. His eyes glinted with an evil twinkle.

"Don't get any bright ideas. There's a crowbar in the back and I won't be afraid to use it if I have to," I said.

Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, Bella. Come on, let's go play with Mr. Puttyface. Billy misses him. I swear, that old man cannot be away from this cat for 3 seconds. I took it out to go to the bathroom this morning, came back to find Billy a head on the floor, rocking himself back and forth, repeating Mr. Puttyface's name over and over again," Jacob said as we walked inside.

For a minute, I thought he was joking, until we walked inside and saw Billy on the ground rocking himself back and forth.

"Mr. Puttyface, where did you go? Come back! Puttyface!" he mumbled to himself.

"Dad, Mr. Puttyface is right here," Jacob said, setting the cat in Billy's lap.

"Mr. Puttyface!" Billy said with a girlish shriek. He picked the cat up and started kissing it everywhere. And when I say everywhere, I literally mean everywhere. Even the cat's ass. I gagged, and had to look away.

"You've come back to me Mr. Puttyface! Never leave me again!" Billy said, as Jake put him back in his wheelchair.

"Dad, calm down. I was only taking him out to meet Bella," Jake said.

That's when Billy acknowledged me.

"Oh, hey, Bella," he said to me, then whispered to the cat, "Stay away from her. She's a bad girl. She hangs with vampires. She won't hurt you, I promise. Next time she comes around you, scratch her eyes out."

I swear I thought that cat give me the evil eye. Mr. Puttyface sat down with Jake on the couch and I sat down next to Jake. Billy let out a girlish shriek. Again.

"MR. PUTTYFACE!" he yelled when the cat yowled in pain as I accidentally sat down on it's paw.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

Billy took the cat in his arms and turned to me with a wooden cross saying, "Leave this girl, you evil demon!" over and over throwing the cross at my head.

"Ow," I said as it hit me in the head.

"That's what you get, you evil demon," Billy said.

"Ignore him. I put some crack in his coffee this morning," Jake said. I looked at him crazy and he laughed.

"Just kidding," he said.

"Okay, I think it's time for me to go. I need to get back anyways," I said.

"Okay, Bells. I'll walk you out," Jake said.

We walked outside and he gave me a hug, telling me bye. I got in the car and started pulling out, when I heard Billy scream, "Mr. Puttyface, come back!"

About that time, the left tire of the car hit something. There was a strange sounding 'pop' and a gurgled sound like a cat meowing with juice in its mouth. I immediately stopped the car and jumped out when I saw Billy come out and rolled beside Jacob.

I looked at the back tire and froze. There Mr. Puttyface was, dead, under Edward's car. He was flat, all of his intestines on the side of Edward's car. There was blood all on the left side of the passenger door. I held my breath and looked away, trying not to throw up and get Edward's car even more dirtier.

"MR. PUTTYFACE!" Billy shouted, falling out of his chair and onto his knees. Jacob was just froze in a state of shock, with his mouth wide open.

"Why? Why Mr. Puttyface? Why him? Why couldn't it have been the girl?" Billy shouted at the sky. Then he pulled out a knife from his wheelchair and started cutting his wrist like an emo person. Then he started banging his head on the concrete porch repeatedly.

"Don't ever come back here!" Billy shouted at me. I jumped in the car and started to drive off.

Before I got down the road, some of Mr. Puttyface's blood splashed onto Billy and Jacob, which made Billy scream like a little girl, AGAIN, and faint.

I drove down the road, hurrying to get home and wash off the dead cat. I was hopping that I would be home before Edward, but as I pulled into the garage to see Edward smiling, leaning against his Aston Martin, I knew lucky hated me today.

He was smiling until he saw the left side of his car. His eyes and mouth widened.

"What happened to my car?" he asked, turning to me.

"I can explain!" I said, getting out.

"Explain, please!" he said. He looked to be on the verge of tears.

"I accidentally ran over a cat," I said.

Edward screamed like a little girl, then ran straight into the concrete wall at vampire speed. He was at my side immediately, and hugged me.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said.

"Good, I'm sorry you had to see that," he said.

"So, how about I make up for it," I suggested. He looked down at me, and smiled.

He picked me up and ran to his room, kicking the door closed behind us.

**The End**


End file.
